'Furious 7' - Movie Review

If I have to listen to Dominic Toretto say "We're Family" one more time, I'm going to kill someone. Probably the person who makes me see another "Fast" or "Furious" movie. Possibly Vin Diesel (who plays Toretto) - if he was on the set of "Fast & Furious 8," he might let me kill him. Apparently he hates these things even more than I do, but he hasn't figured out any other way to write himself a billion dollar check to payroll the things he actually wants to do ... like that god-awful sequel to "Pitch Black." I inflicted this movie on myself in part because the fifth in the series was actually fun. The sixth was bad, and this is considerably worse.

I'm not going to bother describing the plot, beyond saying that Jason Statham is the bad guy and we get another massive dose of family values squeezed in between vehicular insanity (this is the one where they parachute their cars out of planes), extensive and bloodless violence, and the occasional dose of jiggling young women in bikinis. It really doesn't make much more sense than that.

The script is so badly written I knew exactly when Letty would remember everything. Literally, I had time to say "Oh Jesus, here it comes." And she did.

And that ending. I realize that it's meant to be a tribute to Paul Walker, I appreciate that, but all I could think as Diesel and Walker smiled blissfully at each other was "when's the wedding?" Yeah, brothers are supposed to love each other, but that was a bit much.