'Corbin Nash' - Movie Review

Starts with a super-cheesy voice-over by none other than Malcolm McDowell, who has lent his decaying credentials to this pathetic B movie. Written by some dude from "Game of Thrones" (Dean Jagger) who thinks grimacey-face is acting, along with his brother (Ben Jagger) who also directed. The writing is consummately pedestrian, with people asking questions that are convenient to the writers rather than ones that an actual human would ask. Questions similar to "what is the next plot point you'd like to make?"

Corbin Nash is a rogue cop who learns - from another aging actor with fading charisma (Rutger Hauer who then leaves the set and never returns) that his parents were vampire hunters. And he's destined to become one himself. The first third of the movie is tedious set-up - he and his cop buddy cannot possibly match the vampires physically. The second third of the movie sees him in vampire entertainment (and food) fight club, chained or beating people up. And occasionally being angsty and delivering plot points, or having them expostulated to him.

And in the final third he is himself a vampire, hell-bent on killing the bad vampires. Here's the thing: all the publicity told you this was coming, and the movie told you it was coming within about five minutes. Which begs the question: why the hell did it take them 60 minutes of the 90 minute running time to turn him? And, as inevitably as little Lego building blocks click together, he goes out and kills the evil vampires and saves the girl. Oh, and they're totally ready to make a sequel!

It's essentially "Blade" but completely devoid of charisma, worthwhile action, or ... well, anything worth watching.